My 86-point turn

let me start off by saying that i am a good driver. i really am. and i won't harp on the fact that driving here sucks. but it does. people are NUTS. i wish i could videotape me driving everyday. it'd be the basis for the best driver's ed video ever. if you can drive here, i think you can drive anywhere. correction: if you can park a LARGE vehicle here, you can park anywhere.

anyhow, i drove for the 1st official time by myself on wednesday i think (i did drive alone last sat, but i got lost and was just following other cars blindly, so i wouldn't call that trying to "navigate the roads").

long story short, i basically scratched the rental car's passenger side door to hell. on my first day of driving alone. i have never EVER done that to a car before. yes, i've rear-ended someone going like 5 miles an hour when i was 16 and didn't cause any damage. and yes, i did a 180 on a highway once in the rain. but normally i'm great! :)

here's the damage [i think it looks worse in person, unfortunately]:



i wish i could draw a diagram of the whole incident, just to illustrate the hilarity of italy's roads and equal hilarity of the size of the car i'm driving. let's just say it's an audi TANK (that should be the manufacturer's name in Italy), and every italian who sees it cracks up. the roads here were built when ppl like RODE HORSES, ok? it's not for boat cars.

i went to my new residence to do some things - so i had to park in their designated area. i was told to wait in front of the gate to the "parking lot" (if you can call it that, it's basically an alleyway). i sat there, in the middle of the busy road, for what seemed like forever, then got buzzed in. i initially fit fine through the little alleyway leading to what appeared to be the "car park." but then i looked and there were signs on the walls that said no parking. so i look around for anything resembling a parking spot when i see some underground tunnel:


[in the below photo, imagine cars being in the first two spots, i tried to park on the left of the large concrete pole]


i thought, oh, that's got to be where i'm supposed to park. and then i just DROVE THERE. like a complete idiot. as soon as i pulled in i was, like, wow, this might be the worst idea ever in the history of anything. i literally BARELY made it around the tiny curve and then proceeded to try to fit my boat into a pretty small space.

i wasn't panicked yet, i was fine. i was like, ok it's going to be hard to get OUT of here and "can i possibly do this EVERY DAY?!" but i was fine. then i tried to swing the car around to fit into the spot without hitting the car to the left of me. but this car does not turn on a dime, for the record. long story short, i was close to this large concrete structural pole on the passenger side of me, or so i thought. in fact, i was basically kissing that pole with the side of the car. i put the car in reverse to straighten out and it wouldn't move. i'm thinking, "that's never happened before." i get out of the car, go over to check it, and the car is completely attached to the pole.

i pretty much resigned myself to the situation. i thought, ok, well, this car is never EVER leaving this underground hell because i can't back it out or pull it in, so i'm screwed. then i thought, OR it will leave here but it will be in 4 large pieces.

i decide to call the girl at the front desk (Michelle, she's Dutch and my age) who is awesome, and she comes down to help me do as less damage as possible. miraculously, only with her help, did i actually get the car in the spot.

the pole didn't look too bad:



but getting the car out of there was even more amazing. have you ever seen the austin powers where he gets the little golf cart type vehicle stuck in the hallway? and he has about a inch on each side - and he just keeps putting the car in reverse and it hits the wall, then he puts it in drive and it hits the wall. well that's EXACTLY what happened to me. so about 86 turns later, i'm able to get out of the dungeon [see below another angle] without inflicting more damage.



i'm now allowed to go into another entrance for an actual parking lot that the residence has. apparently "the secret" parking lot. it's 1000 times easier to get into and all i had to do was damage the hell out of the rental car for the residence people to take pity on me.

let's see who's "owning" whom with a point system, shall we?

april: +1 point (got a better car park)
rental car: +1 point (it's sheer size and inclination to refuse to turn on a dime)
verona: infinity points (for their awful, awful roads and drivers)